Will Welwyn win?
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5th December 2009
Welwyn 2’s Vs Sawston
Dan Fordham shared a couple of stories that are definitely worth publishing on the internet (especially if the other option is writing about the terrible away match at Welwyn).
The first is about his brother Howerd who, for those of you who don’t know him, is a quiet, laid back and genuinely really nice guy... He is about 6’ 2” and built like a brick shithouse but somehow manages to look harmless enough when you meet him. An example of his natural strength came a couple of seasons ago in the cup. We played at home against Saffron Walden 2’s who had a very quick and sturdily built centre. The centre kicked high down the middle landing neatly in Howerd’s hands just as the centre hit him flat out with fairly solid technique. I’ll remember the noise it made until the day I die. The poor centre never stood a chance as he bounced off and laid limply on the ground whilst Howerd stood amused at what had just happened. That season Howerd was involved in a number of similar incidents resulting in dislocated shoulders, concussions and general trauma. Not bad for an 18 year old.
Any way, whilst recently living away at University in Bournemouth he has been paying his way by working in a bar in his spare time. On a particularly busy Saturday night an obnoxious Stag kept hassling Howerd to serve him and quickly got more abusive as Howerd served everyone else. Eventually Howerd decided to oblige him and proceeded to pour him a drink. Unfortunately the abuse didn’t stop and in fact got worse. Quickly Howerd placed the Stag’s drink on the bar and as he went to pick it up Howerd grabbed him by the arm, pulled him over the bar and punched him in the mouth. I’d like to think that he quipped in a little Clint Eastwood-style one liner as he did it. Something like, “Drink this punk” would have been hilarious. I suppose it was less funny when he got sacked but Dan tells me that he got a job at the bar next door a week later. Well done Howerd, everyone at Sawston supports you in your quest to stamp out (literally) bad bar manners.
Well as I don’t have much time, I suppose I'd better save the other amusing story that Dan told me for another week and talk about some rugby! To answer the question posed by the title of this report, I think the answer is, “Yes but not against us.” 7 matches into the season Welwyn find themselves without a win and rooted to the bottom of the table. A position they may well hold for the rest of the season but I could genuinely comment that at home they are not the worst team we’ve played so far. With a bit of confidence and a full team I’m sure they could cause some problems for the teams in the league that don’t travel well.
The game itself was a cesspit of mediocrity and the less said about it the better. Sawston’s almost life threatening dose of try line fever crippled any hope of the score line we’d wanted. Dropped balls, silly penalties and general panic brought most attacks to a premature end and if they didn’t then strong Welwyn cover tackling managed it for us. Fortunately for Sawston our strong defence remained firm and ensured that two converted tries and a penalty was all that was needed for a comfortable win.
Final Score 17-6
Team: Wayne, Callum, Chris, Dan O, Martin, Ash, Nick F, Pete, Wilf, Beast, Don, Theo, Dan F, Vipers, Robin
Subs: Mark for Nick F, Nab for Beast
Tries: Chris S, Pete
Cons: Dan O, Wayne
Pens: Dan O
Sawston Star Man
Never missing a tackle and being the back least guilty of panic in possession and rapist ball handling gives Chris Shaw the top individual award. He constantly organised the team and genuinely never stopped talking from about 10 minutes before kick-off to the final whistle.
Please spare a little thought for me though - who was stood directly in between him and Ashley. I genuinely thought I was going to go mad. I breathed a sigh of relief when the half-time whistle blew and I looked forward to some peace and quiet. Unfortunately it was not to be. I didn’t think it was possible but Chris actually talks more at half time than he does in the game. He just rabbitted on at about 200 words a second for the full ten minutes. He was like a white Shaggy – although far less rhythmical and rather than dancing to his words (as you obviously would Shaggy’s) their resemblance to white noise just makes you want to punch him in the face. I think he realised this as when the full time whistle blew he ran straight off the pitch and went home. Never mind I’m sure there will be a next time…
Coaches Corner
I forgot to get some comments from the Coaching team after the game (largely because Chris ran off and Robin looked dissappointed). So to summarise it myself, “It wasn’t pretty but we won, away from home, didn’t concede any tries and should be back to 1st or 2nd in the league. There is lots to work on in training, so please get down Tuesdays and Thursday 7.30pm”… It’s easy this coaching game, if only I knew the rules I’d probably be quite good at it.
Players Perspective
Dan Fordham boldly compared us with Saracens in the bar after the game. “Like them - we win, but we win ugly.” I think he's got a point...
Final comment – I know a few people have been worried that we haven’t seen H for a while. It then got worse recently when the attached photo was circulated around the internet. I can however confirm that he is absolutely fine and is just locked in his house playing teenagers at Modern Warfare 2 online 20 hrs a day. After Christmas he is promising to attend "Gamers Annonymous" and to get back to his rugby. Well done H, admitting you have got a problem is the first step...
The small print
This article does not represent the views of Sawston rugby and may not bear any resemblance to real events. It is not intended to offend anyone… actually that’s probably not true as I aim to offend everyone in the club at least once a season. Don’t take it personally though. I do not pretend to comprehend the rules, especially as the new rules are now the old rules and the old, old rules are back again. From time to time I will refer to “scrums” and “rucks” and “mauls” in these reports, but please be assured that I don’t know what these are.
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Sawston 1sts fixutres and results
http://www.greenekingrugby.co.uk/results/Supremresults.htm
Sawston 2nds fixtures and results
http://www.greenekingrugby.co.uk/results/deuxiemeNORDresults.htm
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