Sawston do a bit of Gardening
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12th December 2009
Letchworth 2 Vs Sawston
Keen to hear the second of Dan Fordhams two amusing stories, the Sawston team decided to produce another low scoring encounter away at Letchworth. Deliberately dropping the ball in numerous try-scoring positions seems an extreme method of demanding a drink related anecdote, but nonetheless it was effective.
Dan’s second story happened whilst out drinking to celebrate his recent graduation. On a fairly routine bar crawl through town Dan reluctantly found himself in The Regal with a bottle of Corona. Whilst obviously stimulated by his friends conversation, Dan noticed that his bottle of Corona was 1 month out of date. Despite a skinful, as an experienced bar man Dan felt it was his duty to inform the Regal management of this most heinous of crimes. He strode purposely to the bar and demanded to speak to the Duty Manager. The girl agreed and asked Dan to stay where he was whilst she went to get the lady in charge.
As it was a busy Saturday it took a while for the Bar Manager to arrive but eventually she carved her way through the crowd and tapped Dan on the back. As Dan turned around a 5’ nothing woman wielding a panic button confronted him. Due to the loud music and his 18” height advantage Dan had to lean over the woman to angrily inform her that his beer was out of date. The woman was understandably scared by the confrontation and immediately pressed the panic button. Within seconds a bouncer arrived and stood nose to nose with Dan. In attempt to complete his complaint to the Bar Manager Dan “gently” pushed the bouncer to one side whilst he spoke the lady. Unfortunately the “gentle” push became more serious when the bouncer tripped backwards over a handbag and fell into a table of drinks. Within milliseconds Dan’s arm was wrenched behind his back as the quite badly hurt bouncer tried to pick himself up. Until this point Dan had apparently remained calm but unfortunately the bouncer had picked his bad shoulder to shove behind his back. The pain caused him to try to struggle free and in the process he “accidentally” elbowed the bouncer in the face and broke his nose. Now free of the bouncers grasp and realising that he’d hospitalised two doormen Dan decided to leave quickly and quietly.
Again it is pleasing to see that the Fordhams continue to support the principles of a well run pub. Good manners and fresh beer, is that too much to ask?
So, onto a brief word about the rugby. Finishing aside, which is obviously something we can work on in training, it was another impressive performance from Sawston. Two away wins against the Garden Cities, Welwyn and Letchworth, in two weeks without conceding a try is bloody brilliant. Defence was excellent, opitimised in the last seconds of the game when the Letchworth flyer finally got around the outside of the backline only to be smashed off the park (literally) by Wayne at full back.
Final Score 7-3
Team: Wayne, Callum, Chris, Dan O, Martin, Jay, Ash, Pete, Wilf, Beast, Don, Theo, Mad Ben, Tim, Robin
Subs: Suka for Ben
Tries: Martin
Cons: Jay
Sawston Star Man
It’s impossible to look past Beasty (in more ways than one) for the Man of the Match award. With such outrageous dominance at scrum time, he and Pete really humiliated the noisy but largely ineffective Letchworth pack. The pair have been untouchable together this season and along with Don,Theo and Wilf no team has got tighter and driven straighter. Beast was so pleased with himself after the game he even tried to explain scrummaging to me. “The idea is to push straight on your own ball and keep the scrum stable and then on the opposition ball…” Sorry I can’t finish that quote, I passed out with boredom. When will forwards learn that backs don’t care what happens in the scrum? We just care that we get the ball so that we can make ourselves look good… or in our case make ourselves look crap.
Martin deserves a mention too as he took his try by artfully, if riskily, stepping inside the last defender to score under the posts. It’s great to see him back to scoring ways after a long injury lay-off - long may it continue.
Coaches Corner
“Herbie” (I had no idea that this was his nickname until he turned up wearing lime-green rugby boots with his name embroidered on the side) said training is cancelled on Thursday ahead of the final game of the year against Stortford. As a club we will start again next year reinforcing the improvements that we’ve made so far and then focusing on attacking play and improving our try scoring record. I never thought I’d see the day that James would try and teach us how to score tries…
Players Perspective
I noticed when looking for an image to support the gardening theme to this report that there is more than a passing resemblance between Charlie Dimmock and Nick Ford. No make-up or bra, saggy boobs, wavy ginger hair and let’s be honest have you seen them both in the same room at the same time???.
The small print
This article does not represent the views of Sawston rugby and may not bear any resemblance to real events. It is not intended to offend anyone… actually that’s probably not true as I aim to offend everyone in the club at least once a season. Don’t take it personally though. I do not pretend to comprehend the rules, especially as the new rules are now the old rules and the old, old rules are back again. From time to time I will refer to “scrums” and “rucks” and “mauls” in these reports, but please be assured that I don’t know what these are.
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