Shaggy raps up Sawston Victory
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23rd January 2010
Hertford Exiles Vs Sawston
It wasn’t difficult for Sawston to decide what their new years resolution might be. With a points difference of –47, despite being effectively second in the league (Green King have yet to recognise the Letchworth result) the backs couldn’t have scored in a brothel in 2009 (although I’m sure some tried). With a clear 6 weeks since our last game we’d put up with monotonous attacking drills in training and moaning from our coaching team. “You missed so many overlaps against Letchworth” etc etc. The players were very keen to put this record straight. Hertford away seemed like an excellent opportunity to do this.
Slightly surprisingly for a large club Hertford only managed to scrape together 14 players for the start of the match. Whilst the 15th man arrived after only 5 minutes or so it was already too late. Their defence had crumbled faster than the Haitian capital leaving them 40 points down by half time.
One of the advantages of taking conversions is that you get to hear all of the opposition’s post-try team talks under the posts. My favourite of which came from the Hertford captain, “Right, who is playing inside centre?? Dave, right… we need you to tackle the big ginger guy”. It’s a sign of how good you are if your captain has to actually ask you where you are playing.
The second half continued where the first left off until after about 70 minutes when the 6 weeks off started to show. The open nature of the game had taken it’s toll and a well worked Hertford counter attack took advantage of Sawstons tired legs and scored in the corner. An excellent conversion gave a determined Hertford side just reward for their efforts.
Finishing with 13 tries is a great improvement on the close games we’ve been contesting so far this year and has single handedly obliterated our negative points difference. There is no doubt that fitness and rucking needs to be worked on but this was a fantastic result. Lets hope that unlike most resolutions we actually keep this one up.
Final Score 7-85
Team: Dan O, Callum, Chris, H, Sol, Ash, Nick F, Pete, Wilf, Beast, Don, Theo, Mad Ben, Vipers, Tim
Subs: Skippy for Vipers
Tries: Shaggy 4, Callum 2, Sol 2, Don, Mad Ben, Skippy, Me, Ash
Cons: Dan O 10
Sawston Star Man
Obviously an 85-7 victory needs everyone to play well but a few players stood out. Sol had a superb debut with elusive running, soft hands and hard hits, H picked up where he left off, Ash had his best game yet at 10, and Callum scored 2 pacey tries. Tempted as I was to give myself the star man award for scoring 25 points I think it’s difficult to ignore Chris’ contribution of 4 tries. Gagged by a new gum shield given to him for Christmas (to protect his teeth for his wedding), his constant jabbering was significantly more bearable too. His excellent support play allowed him to finish a lot of fluid attacking moves. The greedy sod even chose to ignore the simple inside pass to me to take on 3 defenders on his own and score. Selfish bastard.
Coaches Corner
James “Herbie” Herbert is, let’s face it, prone to focusing too much on the negatives sometimes. Following back-to-back away victories against Letchworth and Welwyn (without conceding a try) he labelled our performances as “fucking useless”. Feeling a little hurt we, as players, accepted that we could have done better and redoubled our efforts in training. This time it’s slightly more difficult to take. Buoyed by a near 80 point victory margin, away from home, we huddled after the game for the coaches debriefing. “They were shit, I can’t believe we allowed them to score” was his only comment before dismissing us to the changing rooms. There really is no pleasing the miserable fucker.
Players Perspective
Vipers should definitely be commended for his two most obvious contributions to the game. Upon catching a high ball he instantly reduced the opposition to fits of laughter as he shouted, “Fuck, I caught it. Get in!” Whilst the nearest man’s eyes were welled up with tears, Vipes took his opportunity and ran flat out straight at him -leaving him in a semi conscious heap (with a smile still on his face).
The second incident happened whilst on running the touch line in the second half. A clearance kick from Sawston bounced near the touch line prompting the referee to consult Vipers as to whether it went straight out or bounced first. Vipes replied somewhat unhelpfully, “I don't know. I don't know anything about kicking”
The small print
This article does not represent the views of Sawston rugby and may not bear any resemblance to real events. It is not intended to offend anyone… actually that’s probably not true as I aim to offend everyone in the club at least once a season. Don’t take it personally though. I do not pretend to comprehend the rules, especially as the new rules are now the old rules and the old, old rules are back again. From time to time I will refer to “scrums” and “rucks” and “mauls” in these reports, but please be assured that I don’t know what these are
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