Carlsberg don’t do rugby clubs…
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10th April 2010
Poblenou Enginyers Vs Sawston
It’s really hard to explain why our tour to Barcelona was so good. There are so many reasons why it shouldn’t have been. For a start Tom slept in and made Pete and James miss the ridiculously early 5.45 meet time, we lost the match itself and it kicked off 40 mins late and was played on Astroturf. I injured my knee inside 3 minutes and didn’t stop complaining about it for 2 days. After the match almost everyone was either robbed or nearly robbed, Vipers basically got alcohol poisoning, Ben was nearly sexually assaulted by a woman with a penis… I could go on but it gets much worse from there. The best thing to do is probably talk about the match and our generous hosts.
The game didn’t start well. The team had already started drinking at around 11am in Flaharty’s - the omnipresent Irish Bar – who were very inconveniently giving us tray after tray of tequila and Jagerbombs. In addition most had decided to wash this down with “just a couple” of pints of lager. Needless to say that by the time the team were at the ground they were a little bit tipsy and even worse news was to come. An under 17’s tournament that was on before us was running late, so we had another hour to kill before getting changed. In typical Sawston (and Welsh) style we decided that the best use of this time was sitting topless in the sun with another “couple of pints”.
When the enginyers arrived I had a chat with one of their players who basically said that they were taking the match very seriously as it was for 2nd place in the league. In fact, as a club with 4 teams they had decided to field their best 15 players plus 7 subs. If there was one positive thing to take from this news it did manage to prize everyone’s beer out of their hands and make them get out of the sun to get changed. Unfortunately in every other way this was a pretty horrific turn of events!
Any consolation in the knowledge that we couldn’t actually be caught in second place and that the match was in fact a dead rubber was instantly deflated by the size and motivation of the opposition.
In their first attack a quick, wide ball to the full back saw him glide around the outside of our defence leaving a two on one with me at full back. He obviously took one look at me, instantly recognised my lack of pace and went for the outside. Luckily pretty much everyone tries this so I had already set off. Flat out and at full stretch I just about got him into touch, saved the try and screwed my knee for the rest of the tour.
The rest of the half had a very similar theme. There was lots of attack and adventure from the home team that, due to some awesome defence, came to nothing. In fact with some great breaks from Tom, Sawston even earned a couple of kickable penalties – duly converted by the soon to be a Dad, Frenchie. With only one unconverted try from the visitors in the first half Sawston miraculously went into the break 6-5 in the lead. I don’t think I can overstate the size of this achievement. With, on average, 5 pints a man and numerous tequilas and Jagerbombs this lead was practically a miracle. The Enginyers were well organised, hard as nails, and rapid in the backs. They threw the kitchen sink at us at times and we managed to keep it out. Tom and Butterbean in particular put in some absolutely massive hits but not one single player dropped their heads or backed down.
The half-time team talk focused on the first 10 minutes of the second half. As a team we thought that if we could frustrate them for this period the balance in the match would start to swing and we’d stand a chance of winning.
As ever with the best laid plans it just wasn’t to be. We were too drunk and they were too good. They got the early try and Sawston tired in the sun. We certainly didn’t go down without a fight though and always made it difficult for the home team. In fact in the last 10 mintutes we managed to muster one final attack from a number of quick tap penalties. Multiple phases later Jeff charged over for our only but justly deserved try.
A successful conversion and so it finished, 29-13. The post match celebrations were truly epic. It is difficult imagine how a club could be better hosts. With their clubhouse recently rebuilt after a fire we enjoyed as much free beer as we could drink, enough Sangria to fill a swimming pool and the K2 of BBQ’d meat mountains. Inside they had comfy sofas with a massive plasma tv and Heineken Cup rugby followed by the Barcelona – Real match. Drinking games, awards and an awesome atmosphere made for one of the best nights out ever.
Finally, a massive thanks to the Welsh lads for coming along. The tour could not have gone ahead without them. Also a massive thanks go to the Poblenou Enginyers whose hospitality is second to none and every team could learn something from their attitude on and off the pitch. Also thanks to all the Sawston lads who made the tour such a success.
Final Score 29-13
Team: Dan O, Ash, Chris S, Tom G, Skippy, Frenchie, Nick F, Pete, Wilf, Butterbean, Ryan, Don, Jeff, Ben (the person, not the teddy bear) and Dan F.
Subs: Sheep for Dan O (after approx 2 mins 45s), James for Frenchie.
Tries: Jeff
Pens: Frenchie 2
Cons: Frenchie
Sawston Star Man
Tom G was awarded the prestigious honour of man of the match by the Enginyers, presumably because it didn’t matter what they threw at him he sent it back with interest. In attack his direct running sliced through them numerous times and in defence the hits he put in were cataclysmic. All that after 5 pints, 2 tequilas and a Jagerbomb. You just can’t teach that.
Special mentions also go to Jeff, Butterbean, Ryan and Sheep who had an extra 2 days drinking under their belt and put in awesome performances.
Man of the Tour
He was ridiculously annoying from start to finish. He got drunk before anyone else, talked complete and utter rubbish for the whole trip and spent a lot of time on his hands and knees throwing up. He was also dressed like an absolute bafoon. There is something about Vipers though that set him apart from other tourists. He took the rules more seriously than anyone, took part in everything and gave 100% at all times. For this he should be commended, maybe even knighted. Awesome effort Vipes.
The small print
There are many many stories from the weekend that couldn’t possibly be printed on a public website. What goes on tour, stays on tour (and is occasionally leaked on to facebook). It was a weekend of legendary quotes, unbelievable events and binge drinking. Unfortunately the latter will mean that too much of it will be forgotten. The only solution is a repeat performance next year, who’s with me…? (although someone else can organise it!)
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Dates for your diary...
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